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Spirit Medicine: Road Trip! Continued
As CF has grown more complicated, I have found that driving myself around is one of the more challenging aspects of daily living. It has become easier to stay home when I feel exhausted. Not driving as much reflected a busier schedule due to an increase in high-maintenance routines (therapy three to four times a day plus exercise) as much as having my mom generously offer to drive for errands. The less I drove, the less I wanted to drive. I lost a certain road confidence that echoed my growing passivity when I was really too sick to do much else. And when I was better yet still felt fragile, I had to coax myself back into the fray and trust my capabilities.
However, one of the neat things about life is that some things come back the more you practice them. Driving is one of them. Although I still have to work on it, once I get into the drivier's seat, oxygen next to me in a backpack, and pull out of the driveway, something wild and energized comes back.
Independence, stimulation, a fervor for the world. By the time I come back from where ever I plan to be, I may be tired, but it's as if a piece of my life map has been returned to full color. I feel more vibrant, more sure of myself, more engaged with life.
Driving isn't the only beneficial apect of getting out and about. I try to go out of the house every other day, if possible, whether I drive or someone else does. It gets me dressed up, gives me a reason to put makeup on, and it keeps me from living in my pajamas or those around-the-house clothes. I get back to being a citizen of the planet again. It smoothes the rough edges, opens my perspective, and gives me new things to think about. If I am meeting a friend, the conversation and activity refreshes my soul. I stop thinking so much about CF or medical routines that can seem like the main event. I get away from all the medical equipment, from all the paperwork, and just explore new scenery.
Ironically, I also enjoy my home much more after a brief spell away. I welcome the quiet, the cozy reading chair, the familiar place to hang up my soul and restore. Home is also a sanctuary to me, a blessed and loving place to be. Going out, whether alone or with family or friends, only enhances the gift that home truly is. I need to go out, but I appreciate it even more upon my return.
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