Breathing Room: The Art of Living with Cystic Fibrosis

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Breathing Room has lots in store for the year. If you would like to share your personal stories, news items or poetry with us, please contact: us at: info at thebreathingroom.org.

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Breathing Room
facilitates candid and open communication between adults with Cystic Fibrosis, supports the development of a community of adults with CF and provides education and insight for families, caregivers, and medical professionals who impact our lives.

A Place Where They are Still Alive

By Joe Lindic

I think my Up on the Rooftop picture did a lot for explaining my approach [to grieving and healing], and I was even, at one point, concerned about sharing that very, for lack of a better term, sacred part of my life with anyone, but I knew full well if I shared it with you guys [the Breathing Room] it would become part of Through the Looking Glass: Images of Adults with Cystic Fibrosis and I've ended up being glad I did it. I wish I could say that it's helped someway in the healing process, (which was never actually part of my intention with it, but would have been a nice fringe benefit) but I think the fact that I've never been around anytime the image has been exhibited has had a lot to do with that aspect. If I was around when people who were viewing it who shared similar feelings or emotions or were just moved (for whatever odd reason?!) by it, I'm sure I would feel differently. I know this'll happen eventually, and I'm excited and scared about that concept at the same time, but this is the truth about where I'm at right now.

By the way, just as the rooftop picture represents a "special place" for me where I go to remember some very significant friends, a place where they are still very much alive and there with me (in my mind at least), anytime I visit, and that's pretty much my main coping technique for every significant lost relative or friend I've lived through. I feel incredibly comforted in returning to places (some not so soon after the loss obviously, but in due time) and feeling the closeness to them through my memories of the times we spent there together previously. Sometimes the memories are hard to deal with and it takes a little longer before I'll actually go to one of these places again. The first time I do go I get all tachychardic, and my stomach gets all knotted up and I start sweatin' bullets... but I just take a deep breath (for whatever that's worth?!) and stop if I really need to... if it's bothering me that much then I'll leave and put it off a little longer. I've never, totally, not been able to return someplace though, at least not as of yet!

OK - so the above is just a few words about the way I grieve and cope... Now about that healing concept... that one's simple, I don't... or maybe it's I can't??? I dunno.... Every significant lost loved one in my life has left a hole in my heart that nothing can repair or fill! Game Over.... End of story! Now this is only my little 2 cents worth and I'm sure others are have different ideas. My life is a continuing legacy of every single significant person I've lost. It's through knowing and loving them that I am the person who I am today! Never forgetting them, and living the rest of my life (due to the influences from each and every one of them) in a way that would make them happy or proud, is the closest I get to a healing feeling. I feel very honored to be able to live with their influence on my life still and to be able to share it with others. This all falls right inline with my favorite quote which I wish I could say I came up with but didn't, I know you've heard it already... "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow's a Mystery, Today is a Gift... That's why we call it The Present!" This quote pretty much epitomizes how I strive to live my life every day.